So I kind of got lost…


So I think I got Lost……

So, yah, it’s like been months since this runner, mother, triathlete, pretend writer has written anything. I didn’t lose my fire, I didn’t lose my drive, I didn’t lose the constant monologues going through my head that I think would be hilarious to write down….but I did kind of get lost.  I didn’t really think I had anything WORTHY, anything you’d WANT to read.   Then, on my long run last Sunday, I was searching for a podcast to listen to and decided to go with one that several runner moms had recommended.  It’s popular, runners like it; I gave it a try. I turned my mind off, ran some miles and just kind of listened to two runner moms chatting on about their life and their training. Then, I realized after 37 min of this- I couldn’t relate to one thing they said.  They answered questions about trying to break that 2 hour half marathon goal, they answered questions about choosing the cycle class that would challenge them enough aerobically to be beneficial to their marathon training.  And here I was, worrying about my thigh chaffing and being able to walk tomorrow after the first 6 miles in over a month.  These were not my people.

I brushed this off. Pssf. Yah, I’m a slow runner, so what. I’ll never be an elite athlete, I’ll never podium finish (ok, maybe when I’ll like that one 80 year old in the race some day).  Then, I kept thinking about this.  Then, a friend posted a women’s health magazine cover screaming the idea that women should somehow feel more worthy and superior if their legs and butt looked good. Oh hell no.  This is the idea they are pushing in a women’s health magazine?!? Women’s health is that I drag my butt to the gym or spin class at 530am because that’s when I can and it leaves me feeling like super woman. Women’s health is making sure my body is strong and nourished properly to be able to do whatever it is I want to do- whether it run, dance, or play badminton in the rec league.  My thighs got jiggle and sure as heck don’t look “amazing” but guess what, they can run 13.1 miles. They can squat 200lbs.  They can birth two children and look cancer in the face like a badass who won’t quit.  That’s women’s health.

So, then I got un-lost. I realized that I did have a story to tell. That what I have to say, is worthy. It is important because I’m not your typical face of women’s running and women athletes. I’m not skinny. I’m not chasing a medal or a podium. But, my drive is not any less. My goals are not less important. I work tirelessly sometimes to physically keep my body fit and healthy. But I’m a size 14 and I’m ok with that. I’m strong and can run for literally hours.  I’m a mom who does this because I believe in health, believe in making myself better, believe in challenging myself and believe oh so strongly in setting an example for my kids and for other girls and women.

So, what do I want to say to you in this little come back of mine? It’s that you can do whatever you want. You don’t have to be skinny or fast. You don’t have to be defeated when you pick up runner’s magazine and realize that you will never achieve that 7 minute mile they want you to chase. You don’t have to quit because you won’t ever break that 2 hour half marathon goal they discussed for 37 minutes on a runner’s podcast. You can just be you.  There are so many of us out there, just doing the best we can. You’re not alone. I’m right there beside you, quite possibly even a few miles behind you….keep moving and screw the podcast.

Jana Grant

About Jana Grant

I am a qualified, and I like to think fairly skilled, Occupational Therapist specializing in geriatrics and hospice care. I have an undergraduate degree from Springfield College in Springfield, MA in Rehabilitation and Disability Studies and a Master of Science Degree in Occupational Therapy from Springfield College as well. Prior to that, I was a standout student-athlete from Bucksport High School- later following my passion and skill of softball onto Springfield at the collegiate level.